Why so long since I wrote?

I have no idea. I am so hard on myself. I need everything to be perfect. Who cares if it is perfect? My ideal day would include the following:

• a blog entry into adayinthelifeoflor
• a blog entry into livinglighteronethingatatime
• organizing coupons
• entering my reward points (coke, pampers, huggies, etc.)
• straightening my house
• getting my inbox to zero
• knocking out projects for tapestry
• work diligently on getting my house completely organized and cleaned so it looks like a pottery barn magazine...yeah right.
• sending correspondence to friends and family on fancy stationary
• reading chapters and chapters of the Bible
• spending hours in prayer and worship
• read a novel
• read a non-fiction book
• write my book
• prepare for Sunday School lessons
• cooking fancy dinners that impress everyone
• pop over at someones house in our church and surprise them with a loaf of fresh made bread

I know it is silly but I feel defeated everyday and get to a dark place. I was thinking about this blog in particular today...a day in the life of Lor is nothing more than me blogging about my day. I do not need a fancy idea or concept before I can write. I am going to start just doing more snippets of my day...not for you, not for me, but for my girls...this is for them. For them to treasure, for them to laugh at, for them to devour when they are 31 with 2 kids wondering what the heck to do. I love you Anna Beth. I love you Lydia! Please know this, all my insanity and striving and searching...its for you. I want to be the best Mom you can have. Dear Jesus, please keep teaching me.